


You bought me tampons?!

by Shinichis Lover (Crazee_Mentalist)



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 14:44:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15560061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazee_Mentalist/pseuds/Shinichis%20Lover
Summary: Set in super early chapters of Tokyo Ghoul where Touka had her period but she was running out of pads. She asked Kaneki to buy those for her, but he came back with a box of tampons, something she had never put on before.





	You bought me tampons?!

**Author's Note:**

> I do think the blanket in chapter 125 was imaginary, thus I won’t be mentioning about the blanket here. Sorry.

"What the hell, Kaneki?! These aren't pads! I know you're stupid but not  _this_  stupid." She smacked his forehead with her finger, she was clearly pissed off with his lack of knowledge for this kind of stuff. She knew it was a foreign experience for him to be buying such an embarrassing item, but she clearly told him she wanted him to buy a package of pads. PADS. NOT TAMPONS.

“I’m sorry…”

“I’ve tried wearing this last year, but it was hard to put on that I gave up. Idiot! Now I have to try again. Geez.”

She stared at the pink box that she was holding in her hand.  **‘Playtex. Gentle Glide’**  it stated.

_‘Gentle. Yeah right.’_

She opened the box and gasped shockingly at the size of the tampons covered in their plastic wrappers.

"What the- this is  _too big_! See?" She compared the unwrapped tampon with her thumb, and the tampon had a wider diameter. "Why the hell did you buy me this size?!"

Kaneki blinked his eyes in confusion, dumbfounded by her question.

“Size? There are different sizes?”

“Of course, dumbass!”

"I-I didn't know. I asked the lady to show me the section if a girl is having her period... It was embarrassing enough buying it. I didn't want to ask for other kinds of stuff."

“Idiot! That lady won't even remember you.”

“I know. But- it's not normal for a guy to buy this  _thing_  for his coworker...” He muttered so softly, it sounded more like complaining instead of defending himself.

“So, if we weren’t co-workers, it's fine?”

“I- I didn't mean it that way.”

“Then what do you mean?”

He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Then he gave up.

“Never mind. I'll... leave you alone then.” He was starting to walk away when she pulled his vest, preventing him from leaving.

“Wait a minute. You’re responsible for this, Kaneki. You’re staying until I get this stupid thing worked out.”

He blinked in disbelief.

“B-but I have assignments to do-“

“Not my problem. Besides, I might die.”

He blinked again.

“Huh?”

“Look.” She pointed to the instruction paper. “It says  **tampons are associated with Toxic Shock Syndrome, or TSS. TSS is a rare but serious disease that may cause death** _._  What if I was shocked, and died? You’ll be responsible for it.”

He was unfazed by her threat as he stared deadpanned at her.

“Touka-chan, you're a ghou-”

“Stay, okay? In case I'm dying.” She took one tampon along with the instruction paper and headed to the bathroom. “But don't you dare peek!”

“I won't even if you ask me to.” He muttered quietly.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing.”

She locked her bathroom door, leaving Kaneki standing awkwardly and uncomfortably in her room. She left him no choice, after all. He hadn’t started his assignment that was due the next day.

 _‘She would be quick’_ , he thought.

He was  **wrong**.

 

* * *

 

“Kaneki! Are you there?!” She shouted.

The wall was thin enough, enable them to communicate with each other.

“Yeah. There’s no need to shout, Touka-chan. I can hear you loud and clear.”

“Good.” A small pause. “Ican'tfindit.”

“…What?”

“I can't find my... hole.”

_‘Are you kidding me?’_

“Uhhh.........” Sweat was beginning to form on his nervous face.

“Help me.”

His eyes widened in shock at her request.

“How? I've never seen one.”

“Really?”

“Really!”

“Haven't you watched porn?” She sounded so nonchalant,  _‘Is she not embarrassed by this?’_

“I-I mean, I haven't s-seen one in r-real life.”

“You're surprisingly honest...” She murmured. “So, where is it?”

“...Hah?”

“You said you've seen them in porn. Where's the hole then?”

Uhh... how was he supposed to answer? Or describe? This whole situation was uncomfortable enough for him. He  _knew_ where the hole is, based on the porn he had watched, of course. But to describe it to Touka-chan… No. He couldn’t do it. So he just remained quiet. And she didn’t seem to mind that he didn’t answer her.

Five long minutes had passed, and he was starting to get worried. _‘What if she’s really dying?’_

“Touka-chan?”

“Hm?”

_‘Thank God. She’s still alive.’_

“Are you alright? Have you… f-found it?”

“Hmm… I think it's here, but it doesn't get in. So I'm not really sure.”

“Haven't you, uhh...”

“What is it?”

“I don't know. Like, touched... yourself- or something?”

“WHAT?” She shouted in surprise, so loudly that he  _knew_  she would kill him after she stepped out of her bathroom.

“I’m sorry! I was just asking!”

“If I've touched myself I would have known where my hole is, idiot! Not every girl is the same as porn stars!”

“I'm sorry...”

“Stupid Kaneki.”

He lay on her bed, burying his face in her pillow as he let out a heavy sigh. Wishing he could bury himself six feet underground to hide his embarrassment from her.

He was well aware that he was lying on her bed, but he couldn’t care less at the moment. It would take some time before she could sort it out, after all. Besides, her pillow had a nice smell. It smelled like… coffee, just like her.

After a few more minutes, he finally heard from her again.

“I found it. I think. I mean, this is the only hole I can think of.”

_‘Finally.’_

“But I still can't get it in.”

“...”

“Shit! I know why.”

“Why?”

“I'm too dry.”

He choked at her blatant frankness. Touka-chan could be… full of surprises sometimes.

“Aren't you on your period? You should have a lot of blood down there, right?”

“It doesn't bleed all the time, idiot!”

“How would  _I_  know?!” He sounded annoyed now, it had been ten minutes and there wasn’t any progression. He could already imagine getting low marks for his assignment- if he even had the time to work on it, of course. If he hadn’t, then it would be zero marks.

“I can see the blood on the tip-” she said as she peeked at the tube’s opening- “but it's not enough.”

He wished he could just leave her room now. It would be so awkward if Yomo suddenly came in. But Kaneki knew better. Leaving her room means dying in her hands the next day. Touka-chan was scary, after all.

“Kaneki... It hurts because I'm dry, and the tip is sharp, it’s kinda hurting me too.” She sounded like she was in pain now, he didn’t know how he could ease her pain. 

_Perhaps…_

“Do you want me... to... um- help?”

“Hm? How will you be of any help?”

“Since, well, you said- you're-  _dry_ -” His Adam’s Apple bobbed as he gulped nervously.

“Kaneki.” She said it so calmly, but he could sense the menace in her voice.

“Y-yes?”

“WANNA DIE?!”

“I'm sorry, Touka-chan!” He buried his face even deeper in her pillow, he wanted nothing more than to kill himself… how was he going to face Touka-chan after suggesting  _that_?

They remained silent for a couple of minutes before she finally spoke up again.

“Kaneki.”

“Hm?”

“Can you help me?”

_‘Huh? She- she didn’t mean…?’_

He sat up immediately, planning to knock on the bathroom door but he decided to ask first,  _just to make sure_.

“Are- are you  _sure_ , Touka-chan?”

She seemed to catch what he was implying, and she rolled her eyes at his naivety.

“Not  _that_ , idiot!” He really wanted to die by now. “Help me watch a Youtube video on how to put on a tampon.”

His mouth gaped in shock, he was utterly horrified by her request.

“There's a video for that?!”

“It's illustration, you pervert!”

“H-hey, I’m not a pervert!”

“Yes, you are. You watched porn.”

“Every guy does!”

“You stared at Rize’s boobs.”

“I- I did not!” He did, but of course he wouldn’t admit it to her.

“I saw you staring at her boobs so just shut up and watch the video for me, okay?”

“F-fine!” He started to browse Youtube application on his mobile phone, typing the words ‘ **illustration how to put on a tampon** ’. The first video looked oddly weird, so he chose the second one.

As soon as the video started playing, he regretted buying the wrong item for her.

The video didn’t make any sense, it was just showing him some myths and advice before putting on the tampon.

“Touka-chan. I’m stating the steps now, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Step 1. Sit on the toilet.”

“I  _am_  sitting on it.”

“Step 2. Find your… uh… woman thing.” He was too shy to say the word vagina out loud, and what if the manager heard him? Or Koma-san? Or Irimi-san?

“Yeah yeah, I’ve found it. I just can’t get it in. Tell me the part of how to get it in.”

“Okay. Hold on.”

He waited, and waited, and waited.

“There’s no instruction for that.”

“Then find another video!”

He watched another video, feeling  _so uncomfortable_ , heat rushed to his cheeks as there were so many illustrations of woman’s reproductive organ, and there was a video with the titled of ‘live demo’ that got him a little more excited than he was supposed to, and the girl looked cute - just like Rize. But he was disappointed when the demo was done on a… teddy bear.

_‘Shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up…’_

After watching so many useless videos, finally, he was able to find the right one.

“It says you need to find the correct angle, Touka-chan. Try to lift one of your legs up or bend your knees.”

“Ughh... I’m trying.”

It took her somewhat felt like infinity when she was finally able to put it in.

“It's in!!”

“Finally...”

“But Kaneki… it's... so...  _big_...”

His cheeks couldn't get redder at her statement. He tried not to think too much, not to imagine it was  _him_  instead when she made that innuendo comment. Especially when his was much bigger than the tampon.

He shook his head vigorously. Touka-chan was just a friend. He shouldn't think of her that way.

She came out of the bathroom, her face looked pale, and she was sweating like crazy.

“Um, how do you feel?” He asked.

“Uncomfortable? I feel stretched. Probably because it's too big, and I’m not used to it.”

He seemed embarrassed hearing her answer, his eyes trying not to look at her, and his cheeks were still red from her statement earlier. Touka noticed his unusual expression with a glint in her eyes.  _Oh._  Maybe she should tease him. It was her hobby, after all.

“Kaneki...”

“Yes?”

“Are guys' _thing_ bigger than this?”

Now his whole face turned red hearing her question.

“I-I think so...”

She smirked.

“Heh~ I see. I've tried wearing a tampon last year, but I couldn't get it in. And the size was even smaller than my pinky. But this time, I can get this in even though it’s bigger than my thumb. Do you know what the conclusion is?”

He blinked thrice, and gulped nervously before answering with a question.

“No...?”

“It's not about the size, it's about the  _angle_.”

“T-Touka-chan!”

 

* * *

 

***5 years later, chapter 125***

He pulled out of her, panting heavily before lying down next to her on the cold hard floor. He pulled her close to him, kissing the top of her head.

"Are you alright? I hope I wasn't too rough..."

“No. You were gentle.” She smiled warmly, resting her head on his shoulder, her hand splayed on his taut chest. “But you should've warned me...”

“Warned you... about what?”

“That yours is way bigger than the tampon you bought for me years ago.”

“T-Touka-chan!”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm writing a sorta kink smut for chapter 2, in case Touka agreed to have Kaneki helping her with her 'dryness'. But it's not finished yet so I'll mark this as complete for now XD thanks for reading :)


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